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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24565423">I Love You &amp; Despise You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/andiebeaword/pseuds/andiebeaword'>andiebeaword</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Spencer Reid Mature One Shots [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bar, F/M, No Strings, Until there are strings, Woman who sleeps around</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:14:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,446</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24565423</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/andiebeaword/pseuds/andiebeaword</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer Reid meets Cleo Smith. He is so into her that he agrees to be just another notch in her bedpost. Until it becomes more. Spencer shows up where he knows he's not invited. Cleo's apartment.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Spencer Reid Mature One Shots [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115516</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Love You &amp; Despise You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Something lately drives me crazy<br/>
Has to do with how you make me<br/>
Struggle to get your attention<br/>
Calling you brings apprehension</p><p>Cleo Smith was one of a kind. Albeit, the crazy kind. And she had a 'thing' with one Dr. Spencer Reid. They met while he was on a case, naturally. Reid and Morgan were asking if anyone had seen who they believed to be their unsub while in a highly frequented nightclub.  It was Cleo's hunting ground. She considered herself a 'floater' when it came to men. Women, too, when the occasion arose. She never saw herself as tied down. Not by a ball and chain, and certainly not by a pair of fancy rings and a rock on her finger. At 27, she was in her prime. A bad breakup while still in high school hardened her heart to the core and she'd be damned if she let anyone get that close again. Dr. Spencer Reid is the first man in years with whom she keeps finding herself slowly coming back to. </p><p>Over the span of five years, they've managed to sleep with each other an average of once every month. A few rare occasions drew them inside one of their bedrooms for an entire weekend. Little did Cleo know it, but she'd begun to drive the mad doctor crazy. Sure, they'd text and sext more often than not. Spencer was completely aware that he wasn't the only notch on Cleo's bedpost. And, at first, he didn't want to be. </p><p>He was only 30 when he first met her. She mercilessly flirted with him and he was quite oblivious to it. Morgan was watching their entire interaction and was a little disappointed his friend didn't get the girl's number. After the case had wrapped, he opted to drag Reid back to the nightclub, hoping the mystery girl would be there. Of course, Cleo was. She'd been busy trying to find her next one night stand. She was going through her longest dry spell yet, six days. She was craving some crazy sexy attention. None of the usual men and women were doing it for her. Then, her eyes fell on him. Taking a chance, she simply winked at him and curled her pointer finger, hinting at him to follow her, if he dared. </p><p>Texts from you and sex from you<br/>
Are things that are not so uncommon<br/>
Flirt with you you're all about it<br/>
Tell me why I feel unwanted?</p><p>Morgan gave his friend a slap on the back with a "Go get 'em, Pretty Boy!" Spencer felt his body gravitate towards her, even though he didn't tell it to. He found her hidden away in one of unused rooms. Cleo waited with baited breath for the good doctor to make the first move. That was her game, anyway. Spencer licked his lips as his eyes raked her body up and down. She gave him a coy smile in return. </p><p>Fifteen minutes later, Spencer came back, his neck riddled with hickeys, his hair a sexed up mess. He didn't even care that Morgan saw him like this. Over the next few years, their encounters were fairly similar. About six months in, they'd begun staying over at each others' apartments. Cleo was straight and upfront with Spencer from the beginning, though. She told him she slept around. That they weren't dating, they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. She exercised her ability to pick and choose, and that she did. </p><p>Once, Spencer asked her why she doesn't date anybody she's slept with....including him. She sighed and told him she'd been hurt too bad in high school and it turned her heart black. Cleo insured Spencer that she was fine with her choices. She couldn't see herself as 'girlfriend material' and definitely never gave marriage a thought at all. </p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>Tonight, shit was going to hit the fan. Cleo was currently at her place, with a man named Matt. Like Spencer, Matt was one of the select few that Cleo allowed herself the pleasure of double dipping with. They had gone a couple rounds, before Cleo was getting ready to kick him out in favor of recuperating from her sexapades. She made it a point not to trade numbers with any of them. If they wanted her, they all knew where to find her. She pressed a firm, curt kiss on Matt's lips before shooing him out and locking her door in front of him. </p><p>Pull me off to darkened corners<br/>
Where all other eyes avoid us<br/>
Tell me how I mesmerize you<br/>
I love you and despise you<br/>
Back to the crowd where you ignore me<br/>
Bedroom eyes to those before me<br/>
How am I supposed to handle<br/>
Lit the fuse and missed the candle</p><p>Spencer had passed Matt on his way up to Cleo's apartment. They shared an odd look before Spencer shook the encounter off and continued up the stairs. He knew this was an unspoken rule with Cleo. She only met her mates and the club. But, Spencer was done being just one of her many playthings. He only agreed because he felt he understood her reasoning at the time: No strings. No attachments. Just sex. Problem was, in the past couple months, he started to feel things he was afraid to feel with her. While they never saw each other outside the club or their bedrooms, they had gone from fucking each other brains out to consensual love making. </p><p>Spencer was betting...hoping that Cleo felt it too. She stopped asking him to be rough, instead, she begged him more longer cuddles and once asked him to stay overnight. He did. While their morning conversation was kept short before she had kicked him out, he felt something. And now, he'd be damn if he didn't at least tell her. </p><p>knock, knock</p><p>Cleo was now in her comfy loose tank top and a pair of fuzzy pajama pants. She thought maybe Matt had forgotten something important, like his phone or watch. No. It was Spencer. She opened her door, leaving the short chain on to silently remind him of her rules. "Hi, Spencer. Now's not a good time. You can find me at the club tomorrow." Just as she was about to shut the door in his face, he yelled. She'd never heard him yell before. Well, at least not while fully clothed. </p><p>"CLEO! LET ME IN OR I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL STOP COMING TO THE CLUB!" </p><p>Afraid, he'd choose to make more of a scene, Cleo swung her door all the way open and nabbed Spencer by his vest, yanking him inside her apartment before slamming her door shut and locking it. "Well, you got my undivided attention. Talk!" She scowled at him. She wasn't happen with him just showing up unannounced. She clearly underestimated him. </p><p>"Cleo, I can't sleep with you anymore." In complete shock, she felt the wind had gotten knocked out of her. The hell?! She never developed feelings for anybody since her teen years. She made certain of it. But, she knew she was lying to herself when she was with Spencer. She, too, wasn't immune to the fireworks display of sparks that flew between them once their mutual fucking became more loving and slow. She thought it was impossible to fall in love if dating was taken out of the equation. She thought wrong. </p><p>"Spencer, you and I haven't been just 'sleeping together' for a while now. We stopped fucking each other months ago." Spencer was taken aback by her choice of words. He honestly was expecting her to drop him like a fly and slam the door on him. He's careful not to let his hope build up too much more. </p><p>"No, we haven-"</p><p>"Yes, we have, Spencer! For the past few months, we've been making love and you know it." she cut him off. "I hate you, you know that?" Cleo continued. </p><p>"What? Why do you hate me?" Spencer suddenly didn't like where he thought this was going. </p><p>"I hate you because you've ruined me. Sleeping around with anyone but you is killing me. Hell, I thought if I can just sleep with one other person who makes me feel equally as good, but no. No one has made me feel the things I feel when I'm with you. Only you, Spencer." </p><p>"Well, in that case, Cleo, I hate you too." </p><p>Say that you want me every day<br/>
That you want me every way<br/>
That you need me<br/>
Got me trippin' super psycho love<br/>
Aim, pull the trigger<br/>
Feel the pain getting bigger<br/>
Go insane from the bitter feeling<br/>
Trippin' super psycho love</p>
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